Exam Time

Kisi ne sach he kaha hai... :(

'Jo ankhon se hamesha rahte hain Door..
Wah Wah,
Jo ankhon se hamesha rahte hain door....
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Wohi Question Exam me ate hain Zaror :PB

Teacher- "behind every successful man there is a women"
What we learn from this?
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Students- we should stop wasting our time here in studies and start finding a women...!.

Dosti

Dosto se Bichad kar,

Ye Haquiqat Malum hui....

Ki Besak Kamine The,

Par Ronak Unhi se Thi...

Student to teacher

Madam :- aaj tu Late kyu aayea__,
School 7 baje Shuru hunda hai, fir
inni der kyon kiti__??
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Punjabi Student..: - Madam g tusi
Meri Eni Jyada fiker Na karea karo
Lok Shakk karde aa__*

Moti Ladki

Agr kisi moti ldki ko dekh kr seeti bjao or wo palat kar vapas aa jaye to ise kya khenge?
Socho....
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Nahi pata?
"GOLMAAL RETURNS"

Wife Gum ho jaye tooo??

Wife: Agar mai Gum ho jau to tum kya karoge?
Husband: mai akhbar mein ishtehar dunga
Wife: Kya Likhwayoge?
Husband:
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"Jisko Mili Uski"

Exam meFail ho gaya

Baap: Agar tu fir exam me fail ho gya to muje papa mat bolna.
After Exam
Baap: How is ur result?
Son: Dimag mat khrab kar RAMLAL,
Tune BAAP Hone ka Haq kho diya..!

Mugfali Wali

A boy proposd to pinki mugfali wali :--

"I luv u, I was in luv with u frm the 1st time i saw u.
I can do anythng 4 u.
U are my first and last wish.
... U r evrythng 4 me.
I wish we marry and live happily4evr.
Please don't say no to me.
U r my life from Now."

pinki :- "veere ji!
Mainu angreji ni aundi."

Sharabi aur Bottel

Sharabi DAARU se tang aa gaya
Aur botlain tornay laga
1st tori or bola:
Teri waja se meri nokri chali gai
2nd tori or bola:
teri waja se mera ghar tabah hua
3rd tori
Teri waja se mujhy BV chor k chali gai
4th uthai to wo bhari hui thi
usay rakh k bola
TU SIDE ME HOJA TERA KOI KASOOR NAHI hai.

Kaise Kaise GirlFriend..

Ek ladka aur ladki hotel gaye aur table par baithe
waiter aaya aur bola madam kya kya serve karoo
ladki : main to SABZI WALI GUJIYA loongi
waiter : what ?
ladka bola : Bhai yeh BIHARAN hian ,yeih MOMOS maang rahi hain

Santa Shayari

Kisi ne meri neend Looti
To kisi ne Mera Chain Bhi Loot liya,
Neend mile to aap rakh lena
Par chain mile to mujhe De Dena
20 Tole ki hai Dosto..

1 sachhi Ghatna

1 sachhi Ghatna(Jise soch kr insan ki ruh tk kamp jati hai hai, magar jalimo k hath nhi kape)

AMBALA me 17 saal ki ek Ladki Jisne abhi12th pass  kiya tha, aur abhi jo din uske enjoy krne k the.
Uske sage Baap aur Bhai ne  behla fusla ...
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Kr..
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Usss..
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Ladki se Engineering ka form Bharwa diya..

Santa with Hourse

Ek baar santa Ghode par beth kr "Red Light" jump kr gya.
Traffic Inspector piche bhaga.
Santa ghode ki poonch utha kr bola: Le kr Le Number Note..

Angrez

Angrez ko raat me bahut mchchhr kaat rhe the
usne sari lites off krdi
Tbhi room mejugnu aya
Angrez- Oh no..
Sala India kamchchhr tourch lekr dundta hai...

Santa Banta

Teacher draws "M" on board & ask Santa.
Santa: M for Mummy.

Then Teacher draw "W" on board and ask Banta
Banta: Lagdi te santa di ma ve. Par pta ni puthi kyo pye e!

Jokes

Arz Kiya hai ki

Gum hai,
Tanhai hai,
Dard hai,
Ruswayo hai,

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Zalimo Tussi v msg kar do meri koi Government ne duty nhi lagai hai....

Police

Police ko Body mili hai,

Kaale Daant,
Ghonsle jaise Baal,
Shakl Paglo wali,

Muje tumhari fikar ho rhi hai,
Jra Miss call krna"Tasalli ho jayegi"

Student Life

Ek Student Ne B.Tech ka form Bharte Hue Paas Khade PEON se Pucha: Kaisa hai ye college?
PEON: bahut Badia Hai. humne Khud Yahin se B.Tech kiya hai..

Bikhari Jokes

Bikhari ek aadmi se bola- Baba andhe ko kuch rupay do!

Aadmi- Mai kaise maan lu ki tum andhe ho??

Bikhari- Aapko samne wale khambe par bethi chidiya dikh rhi h?

Aadmi- haa, dikh rhi hai

Bikhari- Muje nhi dikh rhi hai..

Father to Son

Dad:  Math vich fail kyo ho gya?
Son: Ist day teacher kehti 5+3=8
Agle din kehti 6+2=8
Fir kehti 4+4=8
SALI khud hi confuse hai menu ki padhayegi??

Jokes

New theory:
Arument win the person, but lose the relation,
so don't argu with your friends just..
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Slap them & say, Kam bol kam

Boys

Boys Can Never B Satisfied With 3 Things In Life:

-Mobile
-Bike
-Girlfriend
Because: There Is Always A Better Model Available In Future...

Santa & Banta

Santa aur Banta Raat  k 12 Bje Road par Gum rhe the..
Santa: Bhut Garmi hai yaar.
Banta: Haa yaar, Din hota to khi chhaya me beth to jate..

Tension

Ladki ne raste me Lift Mangi
Raste me uski Tabiyat kharab ho gye
Aap usse hospital Le Gye
Dr. Bola Mubarak ho!!  Aap Baap Ban-ne wale hai!
Aapko TENSION
Aap Bole mai iska Baap Nhi.
Fir Ladki se Pucha...
Ladki: Ye Hone wale Bache k Baap hai.
Aapko Aur Jyda TENSION 
Fir Police aye
Aapka Medical Check-up Hua,
Report aye ki Aap to kbi Baap ban hi nhi skte!
Aap ne khuda ka sukriya kiya aur khusi-khusi Ghr aa Gye..
Fir socha ki Ghr par jo 2 Bache hai vo Kis k hai????
Aapko ab Sbse bdi TENSION..

Baby to Police

Ek chota bacha road par potti kar rha tha,
Police ne usse pakad liya.
Jab Usse le jane lgeto bacha bola,
"O kanoon k rakhwalo, saboot to utha lo".

Santa on Internet

Santa is searching these keywords on the Net....
"Free Dinner in 5 Star Hotel"
On Google
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Search Result:
"Indian Lgte ho"

Gift

Ladkiya ek Dusre ko Gift Deti Hai...
Flower
Perfume
Necklace
Earrings
Suit

Ladke kya dete hai?
Ans- Ye Le Ladki ka Number, Bas mera naam mat Btayeo..

Wife To Husband

Wife: chalo na aaj baahar chalte hia aur drive main karungi..
Husband: o hoooo matlab jayenge car mein, Aur aaayenge kal ke Akhbaar MEIN..

Santa to Wife

Santa- Shanti ko bulao
Wife: kon apni vo kaamwali.
Santa: Haa wahi.
Wife: kyo?
Santa: Dr. ne kha hai ki goli khao or shanti k sath so jao..

Santa Banta

Banta accident se Mar gya...
Santa uske ghr afsos k liye gya,
Aur pucha Body aa gye kya?
Tbi Body le k Ambulance aa Gye.
Santa- Lo Batao, KItni Lambi Umr hai...

Malik to Nauker

Malik: Abi Tk Tune machar Nhi mare? Mere kaano me gunguna rhe hai.
Nauker: Machar to maar Diye hai, Ye to unki biwiya Hai jo vidhwa ho ke Ro Rhi hai..

Girl To Boy

Girl to her Blind Boyfriend
Girl: Kash Tum Dekh Sakte ki Mai Kitni Khubsurut Hu..
Boy: itni khubsurut Hoti To kya Aankh wale Tuje Chod Jate?  Aandha hu, Pagal Nhi..

Dulhan

Shadi me Dulhan ko Ghungat me kyu rakha jata hai?

Socho

Socho

Nai pta

Taki kisi k muh se ye na nikal jye ki
Abe ye To Meri Wali Thi...

Girl To Boy

Girl- I Love You
Boy- I Love You 2
Girl- Tum Mujse Kitna Pyar Krte Ho?
Boy- Jitna Tum Mujse Krti Ho..

Girl- Kamine....! Iska Matlab Tu bi Muje Dokha De Rha Hai...

Chor

Ek chor amir lok ke ghar mein chori karne gya.. Trunk pe likha tha “Trunk ko todne ki jaroorat nahi hai, 420 number press karke samne wala lal batan dabao, trunk khul jayega. Jaise hi batan daba alarm baja aur police aa gayi.”
Jate-jate chor us lock se bola: Aaj mera insaaniyat se vishwas uth gaya hai..!!!

Chuhia & Bnder

Chuhia Ped Pe chadi to Bnder ne Pucha Upar Kyo Aye?
Chuhia: Apple khane....
Bnder: Ye To Mango Ka Ped hai..!
Chuhia: Saale Tu Zada Chaudhary Mat Ban Apple sath laye hu..

student

10th class ka student: mein fail hona chahta hu.
Dost: Kyu?
Student: papa ne kaha hai ki 1st aya to science dilvayunga,  2nd aya to Arts, Aur fail hua to Shadi.

Father to Son

Papa- Beta jab tu 1 galti krta hai to mara ek baal white ho jata hai..
Beta- O ! ho.. Ab pta chla ki dada g k sare baal white kyu hai?..

Sardar to Nauker

Sardar: (Ramu se) Jao Mere podho ko pani de dekar ayo..

Ramu: Malek barish ho rahi hai!

Sardar: Bahana nahi chlega, chata leke jao…

Boy to Girl

Boy: kal mai tumhare ghar gaya tha, Ab lagta hai hamaari shaadi nahi hogi.
Girl: kyu? pappa se mile the kya?
Boy: nahi, tumhaare behan se milaa tha..!!!

Santa Banta

*Santa: tumhaara beta bilkul tumhaara jaisa hi dikhtaa hai.
Banta: dheere se bol...,  woh padosi ka beta hai...!!!!

*Santa: Tu office mein toh bada sher bana ghumta hai, ghar par kya ho jata hai?
Banta: Hota toh sher hi hoon par DURGA sawar ho jaati hai…